Dream question: Why can’t I speak in my dream?

Dream Question: “I had a dream where I was trying to speak but nothing would come out.  When I touched my mouth, I noticed there was a string hanging out.   I pulled on it and it was like this never ending piece of bunting.  What does this mean?”

This may be a common dream for people who are struggling to communicate.  That doesn’t mean you’re not articulate, just that someone around you may not be getting the message.  In some people’s dream, the object in the mouth is cotton wool, tissue, socks, even teeth falling out.

This, like the never-ending bunting you’ve described, can symbolise the difficulty speaking or getting your point across.  You may also feel like you’re being silenced by someone who doesn’t want you to hear your story or version of events.

When we are dreaming we are also physically paralysed.  This is why for many people when they try to speak in a dream nothing comes out. It can sometimes feel as if you’re straining to speak, and your bed partner may even describe strange noises you’re making.  Again, this can symbolise the frustrations of trying to communicate with someone (who’s just not listening or paying attention) but also recognising the physiological nature of the dreaming process, which means you physically can’t speak at that time.  Some people have this experience within something known as Old Hag Syndrome, which can happen during (or feel like) a nightmare.

Make sure you’re managing your stress and having conversations that need to be had, especially if you’ve found yourself making sacrifices to keep someone happy.    

Keeping a dream diary can be useful to help you understand why you have these dreams when you do.  I talk about this and offer a template in my book Answers in the Dark.

Copyright Delphi Ellis 2017, updated 2021.

World Sleep Day – 17th March

17th March is usually famous for being St Patricks Day but it’s also World Sleep Day.

You might wonder why we need to focus a day of the year on sleep, when it’s something we all need and hopefully all do.   In fact, poor sleep is a global problem with many countries reporting insomnia and sleep deprivation.  In the UK only 38% of people would describe themselves as good sleepers according to one report.  According to the Global Sleep Study women are twice as likely to have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep than men.

I talk about this and more in my book Answers in the Dark: Grief, Sleep and How Dreams Can Help You Heal. The book aims to join the dots between our sleep, dreams and our mental health, specifically how grief shows up, even if no one has died. I explore some of the big myths of sleep, offer a Sleep Cycle Repair Kit including mindfulness activities as well as some top tips to help you decode your dreams.

You can find out more in the video below or order on Amazon.

Available on Amazon

What’s in a kiss? Dreams of kissing 

Mandy asked this question:
If you have a dream where you can actually feel an action, like a kiss, is that a form of lucid dreaming?”

Delphi writes:

“Hi Mandy,

Lucid dreaming is when you become aware of the fact you’re dreaming in the dream itself and can take control of your actions; a neat trick if you can master flying, for example!

Lucid dreamers take control of their dream’s content, like changing the shape of buildings, practicing a work presentation (before the real thing) or altering the outcome of a nightmare.

There are many tried and tested techniques for prompting lucid dreaming but for many people this happens spontaneously and as soon as they realise they’re dreaming, they often wake up.  There is research that Lucid Dreaming can help manage anxiety, for example. (More on this soon). 

Dreams can be useful to you without telling them where you want them to go and some people enjoy lucid dreaming as and when it happens rather than try to master the art of it. I’ve met people who, once they have mastered the art of lucidity, no longer dream “naturally”, instead always consciously controlling what happens next. It’s useful sometimes to “let go” both when awake and asleep. 

Many people experience dreams like a story that unfolds. They describe content they remember when they wake up, which usually involves a symbol of focus either through sight or sound.

Sometimes, they may realise – as you did – they have experienced the dream on a whole new level, through their other senses like taste, smell and touch.

When this happens this can reflect your perception of the outside world, in a more holistic and magnificent way – you are expanding the way you experience everything and this is transcending into your dreams and vice versa. You may start to notice when you’re awake the rich colours of the leaves on trees and be in awe of the intricate details in architecture as you start to pay attention to the world outside yourself. This, and meditative practise, can enhance the way you experience everything, especially your dreams. This means the way you experience life, both awake and asleep, can only continue to get better – awesome!”

Let’s look at the original focus of your question – a kiss.

The meaning of a kiss in a dream will depend on the context – e.g. who was doing the kissing and the setting in which it took place. If, for example, your boss (or a person in authority) was trying to kiss you it may be that you recognise, respect or mistrust their apparent power over you. If you enjoyed the kiss it may also be that you acknowledge a shared passion in the work that you do. You’re on the same page, if you like, and are working in harmony together.

If the kiss is with an ex partner, much will depend on the relationship you had with that person and if there is any “unfinished business”. Sometimes the kiss can symbolise your need for forgiveness from them, if you feel responsible for the way things turned out.

Kisses can also represent messages from your Self.  Their tenderness can symbolise the kindness we may need to show ourselves (for example we say “kiss it better”). This doesn’t necessarily mean the onset of illness but something which may need fixing on some level. You may be aware you’ve been stressed lately and know you need some time out for yourself.

Remember that, in days gone by, envelopes were “sealed with a loving kiss”. If your dream does offer a predictive message it may be that some good news is coming your way. Keep an open mind, manage your stress effectively and don’t force events – let them happen naturally and, just like your dreams, let the story unfold as its meant.

Mandy then asks:

So do you think it’s some sort of prophecy or wish fulfillment?”

Delphi writes:

“The term you’re using (wish fulfilment) is often associated with theoretical dream models of famous psychoanalysts such as Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud. Whilst 19th and 20th century dream theories have their place in understanding what dreams can sometimes mean, it can limit the potential of the dream meaning if you only work with one way of interpretation. So, if you always approach dream analysis from one dimension you will only ever get one bite of the apple.

You mention wish fulfilment and of course it’s possible the person who offered a kiss in the dream is a person of interest, and you look forward to this happening in your waking life – the wish has been fulfilled in the dream and provides food for thought for how you might feel about it in waking reality.

You also ask if this could be prophetic – a dream which may come true. In most cases dreams represent a message which is being conveyed, but of course there are incidents where their content has played out in real life. The irony is you will only know if or when this happens. Take a look for the hidden message in the meantime so that you can maximise the potential for taking positive action in your life.

Keeping a dream diary can help understand common and recurring dreams. I talk about this and provide a template in my book, Answers in the Dark.

©️ copyright Delphi Ellis

Dream Question: Why was I left holding the baby?

Your Dream Questions answered by Delphi.

Y asks: “Im trying to conceive and I can’t stop having this dream. I am on the beach having fun with people then I go into the sea with a baby boy. The sea is really calm.  I feel a lot of love about this baby, I am holding him really close to me when suddenly there are these big waves coming upon us. Can you tell me what does it mean?”

Delphi writes:

“Hi Y.  The first thing that caught my attention about your question is that you’re currently trying to conceive.  Dreaming of falling pregnant or having a baby will often depend on the context of your current life and what circumstances are most pressing on your mind.  For people who don’t want a baby but dream of doing so, this is still a positive sign.  It can mean giving birth to an idea which, although will change your life, has the potential to bring with it positive change and personal growth.  When we talk about being “left holding the baby”, this can mean being left with a problem we didn’t need or want.

If  – as in your case – you’re trying to fall pregnant then it is natural to dream about this wish you have being fulfilled, and whilst this idea comes from an older dream theory, it is often still relevant today in cases such as this.  That doesn’t mean that the rest of your dream isn’t important or that you won’t get your wish so I’ve explored your dream for you below.

In your dream you’re on the beach with people having fun.  Your dream may be acknowledging changes you know will happen as part of having a baby, in that often your social circles can change as well as your idea of having a good time.  Before you decide to have children, going to parties may be one way of doing this, but when a baby arrives you may prefer the company of your children or other mums, sharing stories about how best to raise your child.  For me, the fact that you go in to the water with the baby, suggests to me you consciously feel ready to take this leap and spend your time differently.

In your dream the water is calm to begin with and this can acknowledge the peace you may feel when you have achieved that which you desire the most – it felt perfect.  However in your dream, the sea started to swell and seemed threatening.  You may be frightened of not conceiving and not getting what you want and this was symbolised by the threat of the water taking it away.  Ironically, your fears may act as an emotional block to the life you want to live so it’s important to know how to manage them in a way which is healthy.

Waves in dreams can reflect emotions which wash over you at certain times of the month or during stressful periods of your life.  Your frustration with being unable to conceive may be affecting you on some level and so knowing how to manage your stress effectively going forward will be helpful to you.  Make sure you’re taking time to relax, listen to calming music and meditate by listening to the natural pattern of your breath for at least five minutes every day (morning is usually best).  You may also wish to investigate options for fertility help – have a chat with your GP, if you’ve not already done so.  (When you subscribe to my Mailing List, you receive free access to the Members Area which contains top tips to help you sparkle, like how to relax).

Lastly, it’s important for me to say that although you are trying for a baby at this time, babies in dreams can also reflect how well you are taking care of yourself.  It is just as important to nurture yourself with the basics – quality time, good food and cuddles – so make sure you’re getting healthy amounts of all three!  I hope you have some positive baby news soon – please keep me posted.”

Y asked this dream question on Facebook and received her analysis free by being featured here.  The information provided in this article is open to individual interpretation and is not intended to replace the advice of your healthcare team. Please speak to your doctor before deciding upon any form of action which may affect your health or if you have any concerns about your health and wellbeing.

© Delphi Ellis all rights reserved.

What does my dream about eyes mean?

In my dream I had no eyes in my sockets.  I kept looking for eyes to put back into my head, but I could see everything still despite not  having eyes?  Not sure what this means”.  Ivan.

When we become aware of eyes in dreams we may be focusing on what it is we’re seeing – or not seeing – in our waking life.  It may be at the time of your dream you were having difficulties seeing your way out of a specific situation, perhaps at work or at home.  You kept looking for eyes, so perhaps you’ve been looking for answers but as yet you’ve not been successful.  Or you’re looking for a way to see clearly what options are available.

You mention that you kept looking for eyes to put back in your sockets and this could suggest that something is not where it should be, or where it belongs at the moment.  It’s worth having a think about what you’re seeing or having trouble seeing, perhaps someone else’s point of view or an answer to something which challenges you.  It may also be an idea to consider what’s not where it should be at the moment, and what – or who – doesn’t fit in.  Is something “missing” in your life?

The context of eyes in dreams, and how they appear, can mirror your perspective about a particular problem.  If you’re looking out of a window in a dream this can symbolise how you’re trying to absorb new information, or view the world outside of yourself (especially if it’s a window you don’t recognise.). Equally if you’ve been having problems with your eyes in waking life, this would affect the interpretation.

Eyes have also been described as the window to our soul.  We will often use eyes in metaphors to judge a person’s character finding them attractive or untrustworthy.  What do eyes tell you? What do they say?

When we say “I could see it in their eyes” we may be describing someone who was frightened or up to no good.  You may be someone who views eyes as an important characteristic in an ideal or future mate.  It may also be that by having no eyes in your dream, you don’t want someone to see into your soul, to get the measure of you, to know  what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling.

If your attention is drawn towards another person’s eyes in your dream, it’s worth considering what it was about the eyes that got your attention.  If someone had only one eye (who usually has two) or their eyes were shut it may be that you feel someone around you is not seeing a situation as they should or only giving half their attention to something important.  You may be frustrated with a friend or family member who refuses to see how someone else is hurting them or letting them down.  Or if someone shares the same “problem” with you in the dream, you may feel they understand you better than someone else who doesn’t. Perhaps they share your point of view.&nbsp

If you are looking at your own eyes, pay attention to how healthy they look.  Eyes that are shining can suggest a positive mood, you may be seeing life very clearly and have a clear view of where you’re going.  Eyes which look dull and lifeless can help you acknowledge how you’re feeling about some aspect of your life and areas where you may need to take positive action.  If you notice one eye is shut, your left eye closed can mean you’re viewing life creatively but not logically.  If you’re right eye is closed, you may be maintaining a logical outlook but missing out on your ability to see things expressively or creatively.  In your case your eyes were missing, and maybe something important is missing in your life at this time.

If you’re not not able to open your eyes in your dream or what you can see is blurry, it may be that at the time of the dream you are unable to see something clearly.  Perhaps you want to know the outcome of a situation or what a person is going to do next; this symbol reminds you that some things are not meant to be seen.

An eye in the middle of the forehead could refer to the Third Eye Chakra or “all seeing eye” offering you some insight regarding your intuition.  Again, if the eye is open you may be able to start viewing a particular scenario with profound clarity.  If the third eye is closed, you may have been confusing knowledge with perception and so may need to embrace a more spiritual aspect to your life.

It’s interesting that in your dream you could still see perfectly despite your eyes being missing.  This, for me, suggests you know what the answers are to the challenges you face but you may be unwilling or unable to “see” this right now and so are trying to find other options which fit just as well.  If you felt happy about not having eyes, again this may suggest you’re okay with other people not knowing how you feel.

Eye dreams can also represent your intuition, so it’s important to balance what you know with what you think you know.  Make sure you’re managing your stress effectively so that you can learn to trust your gut when needed.

Keeping a dream diary can help understand common and recurring dreams. I talk about this and provide a template in my book, Answers in the Dark.

Copyright Delphi Ellis