Dream question: Is my partner having an affair?

I am constantly having dreams about my partner cheating on me with several different women, none of whom I know. Does this mean he is having an affair?”

Delphi’s answer:

It’s one of those dreams where you wake up in a cold sweat – the “affairs” dream. Either your partner is the one with the roving eye or you’re the one cheating in your sleep. You’re not alone, it’s a dream that troubles men and women, even when you would describe yourself as in a happy and stable relationship.

The people who appear in your dreams are as important as the content of it, so the first thing to consider is who is having the affair. If, as in your case, you dream your partner is cheating you may be worrying that your intuition is trying to give you a heads up to keep an eye on your partner. Thankfully, this usually isn’t the case –  it may be a fear of history repeating itself, if a previous relationship you had ended through infidelity. 

If you’re worried about your relationship have a chat with your partner about any concerns you may have or a third party organisation established to help with relationship worries. No one – certainly not a professional – should tell you your partner is having an affair just based on the strength of a dream you have had. 

If you dream you’re the one cheating, in some cases it may be there is not enough excitement in your relationship and you’re looking for ways to spice it up. That doesn’t mean you’re not happy but you may worry things are going stale and your dream may suggest it’s time to keep things fresh. Don’t be fooled though – dreams of having sex with someone else are often about control, not sex.  Say you’re dreaming of having sex with your boss, it’s more likely you feel they have power over you in waking life.

Infidelity dreams aren’t always about cheating, though. Perhaps you don’t have enough faith in yourself or the people around you to do the “right” thing. Dreaming of affairs can represent our personal insecurities, not always for the relationship we’re in, but perhaps lack of confidence we have in ourselves. Perhaps you worry you’re not meeting other people’s expectations or feel there should be more excitement in your life (that you could/should be trying something different).

Fear of losing a partner through death or illness can also cause a dream of having an affair, and some people who’ve recently had a bereavement may experience this. The dream creates the message that you may see the illness or the death as the third person in the relationship, winning and taking him/her away from you.

You mention in your dream that there are a string of other women involved. It’s always worth considering who these people are (for example, if they’re people from his work) and if you know them. If not, it may be that you don’t know your partner’s social circle well enough and this bothers you on some level.

My Top Tips for your Infidelity Dreams

* Consider whether you’re carrying over fears from a previous relationship which didn’t work out where infidelity was involved. If you’re worried about your partner cheating, have a conversation with them or speak through a third party to resolve any trust issues brewing.

* Do you have faith in yourself and the people around you? See if it’s time to trust yourself or others more to do the right thing, or do a good job.

* If you’re feeling left out of your partner’s social or family circle, see if there are ways you can get involved which won’t leave you feeling on the side lines.

Interested in Mental Health? Have a look at Helping you Sparkle™.

Can’t see the dream you were looking for?  Why not ask for a dream interpretation.

Please read the “important stuff” about this website before leaving a comment or question. Thank you.

Published by Delphi Ellis

Therapeutic counsellor, well-being trainer and author working with grief and mental health, helping people get their sparkle back. Explores dreams on telly. Avid tea drinker. © Delphi Ellis - Helping You Sparkle™ 2006 - 21

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