Is It All Love and Light? Here’s What I Know

⚠️ This article links to a discussion about domestic abuse and references exploitation.

In my book Answers In The Dark, I allude to what it was like to grow up in a Spiritualist household. I would fall asleep to the sound of my Mum using the iChing, an ancient Chinese divination tool. We talked about our dreams around the breakfast table. A ghost we affectionately called Mrs Hislop (and still do) got the blame, almost certainly unfairly, for everything strange that happened in the house. 

I was taught, as a young person, to scry, use a pendulum, cleanse a house with sage and engage in automatic writing (I’ll write more about these one day). My Nan was also mystical though for the most part, I mainly remember her singing and her baked apple pie.

Over the last 20 years or so, I’ve also navigated the spiritualist circuit in one form or another. For the most part this has included attending Mind, Body and Spirit fairs, appearing on ‘Psychic TV’ and winning the Spiritual Connextions Award for Service to Others.  (You can read more about me here).

When it comes to this arena, as my Mum would say, “I know what I know”. I mention this not out of ego, but mainly to set out my stall for what I’m going to describe below.

Growing up, I was taught that we should be more afraid of the living, than the dead. That there was nothing scary “on the other side” and I came to realise that the idea that spirits were sent to harm you was probably used to keep people afraid and under control. That’s not to say that there isn’t such a thing as ‘negative energy’ – we’ve all felt that if we’ve walked in to a room where an argument has just happened – but today, I very much believe the imagination is more likely to terrify you than anything “other worldly”.

That’s also not to say life has always been easy; I’ve spoken openly about what I’ve endured but I firmly believe what happened to me was because of choices other (living) people made not because of the dead, or because The Cosmos saw fit to teach me a lesson  – I don’t buy this narrative, because it makes us look the other way from those who cause harm and, erroneously, blames the victim instead.

The Dark Side

In the old days, the emphasis was very much about helping people; about using your “gift” – whatever that may be – for the greater good. Around the world today, in some communities, elders, Seers and Shamans still inform business decisions and matters of health; it seems really only in the West we seem to have a real problem with that.

Previously, if there was ever a nefarious type who tried to exploit people for money through spiritualistic work – and let’s be clear, there were some who tried – they were referred to as a “charlatan” and they wouldn’t do the work for long. Finding someone to do a reading, for example, was mainly done by word of mouth and people on the circuit were as quick to call anyone out, if their intentions were less than honourable.

There was no internet or social media to boost the platform of someone who was just talking the talk, but not walking it. In short, if you were no good, you would soon be found out. If anything, there was more secrecy about the work than prestige, but mainly to protect everyone involved. On the other hand, if you were good at what you did and how you helped, your number would do the rounds.

As a point of note, I used to go and see a Medium called Pat. She was a magical woman in every sense of the word, the definition of ‘crone’ that many of us who actually occupy space in this arena know and love – for it to mean wise woman, rather than an ugly one as the dictionary so patriarchally defines. She looked like everyone’s favourite auntie – professional but huggable with possibly a smell of Elnett that explained why a hair was never out of place.

Pat’s phone was always ringing. She was that good she had to get an answering machine. I remember the first time I went to see her, I hadn’t even sat down when she said something about my situation that it stopped me in my tracks. She had no way of knowing. We didn’t have email back then. There had been no preamble on the phone except to say “can I come and see you please?” She “just knew”.

Fast forward to a show I attended in 2022, when I was sat at my table at an MBS show – as I’ve often done – this time selling copies of my book. Another stall holder, calling herself a “reader”, came up and told me – without prompting – that her main method of working was to give people a virtual slap around the face, tell them their problems are all their own fault, and then hug them goodbye as she took their money. I was so shocked, I was speechless. In fact I couldn’t believe it – this was a world away from what I knew and grew up with, but I had a witness who heard every word. I looked for her again later in the day to talk with her but she had packed up and gone home. I won’t lie, I cried over this.

Unfortunately, with the advent of social media and video channels, it has enabled a minority of “gurus”, “influencers” and others whose motivations are less than noble; to exploit people or spout narratives that are aimed to keep us all afraid, disguised under the banner of “awakened” but primarily motivated by money, status and power. 

The Good News

All this said, I am still comforted by the good people in the arena, who are doing the work for the right reasons and there are many. If you’re ever not sure about what to believe, it can be helpful to find ways to trust your intuition but if you’re ever in doubt, then seek out personal recommendations and always check before you invest. 

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Delphi is the author of Answers In The Dark: Grief, Sleep and How Dreams Can Help You Heal, out now on Amazon and Hive.  The Dreams Maven™ is part of the Helping You Sparkle™ portfolio.  You might also like Monday Mojo™.

© Delphi Ellis 2023