What’s in a kiss? Dreams of kissing 

Mandy asked this question:
If you have a dream where you can actually feel an action, like a kiss, is that a form of lucid dreaming?”

Delphi writes:

“Hi Mandy,

Lucid dreaming is when you become aware of the fact you’re dreaming in the dream itself and can take control of your actions; a neat trick if you can master flying, for example!

Lucid dreamers take control of their dream’s content, like changing the shape of buildings, practicing a work presentation (before the real thing) or altering the outcome of a nightmare.

There are many tried and tested techniques for prompting lucid dreaming but for many people this happens spontaneously and as soon as they realise they’re dreaming, they often wake up.  There is research that Lucid Dreaming can help manage anxiety, for example. (More on this soon). 

Dreams can be useful to you without telling them where you want them to go and some people enjoy lucid dreaming as and when it happens rather than try to master the art of it. I’ve met people who, once they have mastered the art of lucidity, no longer dream “naturally”, instead always consciously controlling what happens next. It’s useful sometimes to “let go” both when awake and asleep. 

Many people experience dreams like a story that unfolds. They describe content they remember when they wake up, which usually involves a symbol of focus either through sight or sound.

Sometimes, they may realise – as you did – they have experienced the dream on a whole new level, through their other senses like taste, smell and touch.

When this happens this can reflect your perception of the outside world, in a more holistic and magnificent way – you are expanding the way you experience everything and this is transcending into your dreams and vice versa. You may start to notice when you’re awake the rich colours of the leaves on trees and be in awe of the intricate details in architecture as you start to pay attention to the world outside yourself. This, and meditative practise, can enhance the way you experience everything, especially your dreams. This means the way you experience life, both awake and asleep, can only continue to get better – awesome!”

Let’s look at the original focus of your question – a kiss.

The meaning of a kiss in a dream will depend on the context – e.g. who was doing the kissing and the setting in which it took place. If, for example, your boss (or a person in authority) was trying to kiss you it may be that you recognise, respect or mistrust their apparent power over you. If you enjoyed the kiss it may also be that you acknowledge a shared passion in the work that you do. You’re on the same page, if you like, and are working in harmony together.

If the kiss is with an ex partner, much will depend on the relationship you had with that person and if there is any “unfinished business”. Sometimes the kiss can symbolise your need for forgiveness from them, if you feel responsible for the way things turned out.

Kisses can also represent messages from your Self.  Their tenderness can symbolise the kindness we may need to show ourselves (for example we say “kiss it better”). This doesn’t necessarily mean the onset of illness but something which may need fixing on some level. You may be aware you’ve been stressed lately and know you need some time out for yourself.

Remember that, in days gone by, envelopes were “sealed with a loving kiss”. If your dream does offer a predictive message it may be that some good news is coming your way. Keep an open mind, manage your stress effectively and don’t force events – let them happen naturally and, just like your dreams, let the story unfold as its meant.

Mandy then asks:

So do you think it’s some sort of prophecy or wish fulfillment?”

Delphi writes:

“The term you’re using (wish fulfilment) is often associated with theoretical dream models of famous psychoanalysts such as Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud. Whilst 19th and 20th century dream theories have their place in understanding what dreams can sometimes mean, it can limit the potential of the dream meaning if you only work with one way of interpretation. So, if you always approach dream analysis from one dimension you will only ever get one bite of the apple.

You mention wish fulfilment and of course it’s possible the person who offered a kiss in the dream is a person of interest, and you look forward to this happening in your waking life – the wish has been fulfilled in the dream and provides food for thought for how you might feel about it in waking reality.

You also ask if this could be prophetic – a dream which may come true. In most cases dreams represent a message which is being conveyed, but of course there are incidents where their content has played out in real life. The irony is you will only know if or when this happens. Take a look for the hidden message in the meantime so that you can maximise the potential for taking positive action in your life.

Keeping a dream diary can help understand common and recurring dreams. I talk about this and provide a template in my book, Answers in the Dark.

©️ copyright Delphi Ellis

Published by Delphi Ellis

Therapeutic counsellor, well-being trainer and author working with grief and mental health, helping people get their sparkle back. Explores dreams on telly. Avid tea drinker. © Delphi Ellis - Helping You Sparkle™ 2006 - 21

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